Let’s dive in a little deeper and really talk about postpartum needs that you will want to know about, in order to survive this new moment in your life. Postpartum, which I will also refer to as the 4th trimester, is an extremely vulnerable moment in your life. We often are so concerned about taking care of baby during this time (which is important), but I also want you to understand how important it is to prioritize your own personal needs and care.
So you just carried your babe for nine months, went through labor and delivery, and are now at home with your brand new baby (congratulations!!!!) and brand new body. Your body has been through A LOT and will continue to recover over the next few months.
Recovery is going to look quite different for everyone, and so postpartum needs will be looking different for everyone also. You will also find that some days you might need more emotional strength and help, while other days you will be more focused on your physical health.
Because I have a whole post dedicated to caring for your immediate postpartum body, we will be skipping that in this post. That blog post titled, First Time Mom Essentials You Need In Your Life, is all about caring for your vagina and caring for your mental during those baby blues. So if you are interested in reading all about the key items you will be needing in the first couple of weeks postpartum, click here for more on all that 🙂
These times are extremely challenging and isolating. At times you feel like you are the only one in the entire world experiencing what you are experiencing. You may also feel incredibly guilty, because so many women would love to be in your position. The purpose of this post is to give insight and reassurance to the moms out there that have recently given birth.
This post is all about postpartum needs, from emotional to environmental needs, and everything in between. Let’s discuss how to start healing during this fourth trimester period.
Postpartum Needs
postpartum needs: your body
Many women think that once you are done being pregnant, it is time to hit the gym and begin your journey to your pre-baby weight. It is a common misconception to think that our body doesn’t need rest and it will be fine. It is okay if this is your thought process. These thoughts all went through my head too. I even read a book on how important resting is during the postpartum period, yet I still tried to push my body. Like most moms, we don’t listen. Why? Because we hate the way our bodies look, so we go to the gym and try to make ourselves feel better. We NEED to escape the house and maybe it is not nice enough to go walk outside, so we go to the gym. Or maybe we just are stubborn and don’t feel we need any help.
I think it is extremely okay and normal to not feel comfortable in your postpartum body. I don’t know any woman that had a baby three weeks ago and is out at Target in her crop top. If there are women like this, that is absolutely amazing. I want all of your confidence. More than likely, it is going to take months and maybe years to liking your new body.
It is so normal to want to hit the gym and do your normal workout routine. But your body is not ready for it quite yet, but soon someday it will. For now, you really need to take care of her and remember that she’s going through hell of a lot of changes.
Before I even got my 6 week clearance, I was DYING to go to the gym. Working out is what made me feel good about myself. Plus, I needed to get out of the house. So, what did I do? I had my mom watch Owen and went to the gym. I *attempted* to do my normal HIIT workout. At the time, I felt ready. After 5 minutes on the treadmill, my vagina felt incredibly heavy, and I overall did not feel well. I went to the bathroom and realized I had bled so much. Like so much. So of course, I immediately went home, cried the whole drive and felt like a complete idiot.
There is a reason why we all try to push ourselves. You maybe have no other choice because you’re a single mom, chasing around your toddler and taking care of your newborn. Or maybe you just have such a hard time sitting down and “relaxing” because there is a million and one things to get done. Situations and life in general are not perfect. But if you have the help, take advantage of it. If you need to get out of the house, go walk around the mall. Or go to the gym and walk the track. But really try your best to understand that your body NEEDS rest in order to recover properly.
postpartum needs: for the mind
I talked about this a little in my First Time Mom Essentials post but taking care of your emotional needs is (to me) more important than even your physical. I can’t properly take care of my physical self if I am not mentally aligned.
Unpredictable, roller coaster emotions are completely normal and going to be your new reality for a while. I think most of us know that this will happen, but I believe it is important to understand why this happens. Giving birth will probably be one of the craziest life experiences you go through. Your body is also going through the HUGE change of it once homing a second human to now that human being in the outside world. This itself creates a huge energy shift. This creates a months’ long process of recalibration in our bodies. We also have fluctuations in our sex and stress hormones.
Personally, I didn’t start to actually feel “stable” until around month 7. Owen started sleeping better, so that could have had something to do with it. Maybe it was just my mind starting to adjust. Either way, when you are in this mental funk, it is so important to remember that it is a season. You will eventually feel better.
I truly hate when people say, “give it time” or “it is just a season” (yes, just like what I said previously lol). Even though they are sometimes right, it is not a fast fix. When it comes to the mental shift post birth, there is no fast fix. But there are things that you can do to help your mind in the moment.
- Meditation (Insight Timer is my personal favorite app)
- Music/Podcast
- Journal
- Deep breathing techniques
- Read (I highly recommend the book The Fourth Trimester by Kimberly Ann Johnson). If you need something more on the comedy side then Dear Girls by Ali Wong is what you are looking for.
- Connecting with other moms (if you download the What To Expect app, you can join a community with other moms- specifically those who had a similar due date. With this, you can ask for help on any mom or baby related topics or search for similar discussions).
- If you are able to find someone to watch your baby, I highly suggest leaving the house. Whether it is to walk around the grocery store or go get coffee with a friend, it can have a major impact on your mood. MANY times, Mark would try to get me out of the house. I would say no it’s fine, I am fine (aka I am in a horrible mood lol). He would basically force me out and even just 15 minutes out of the house, completely refreshed my mind.
nourishment
Food has a huge impact on how our body recovers during the postpartum period. It is a postpartum need that most maybe don’t think about. When you are pregnant, your body creates an increase in blood volume. And whether you had a c-section or vaginal birth, you then lose blood and have a decrease in your blood volume. Choosing optimal foods and herbs will not only be in favor of your recovery but also your milk supply (if breastfeeding).
If you are super interested in reading all about healthy food, I would HIGHLY suggest you check out this book called Medical Medium Clean to Heal by Anthony William. It is an incredibly educational book, specifying how good and bad foods affect our bodies. Obviously, if you are early on in your postpartum journey, you probably don’t have much time to read. Once you are getting more sleep and are feeling up to it, I totally recommend checking out his book.
Foods to include to benefit your healing process include:
- Green veggies (think celery, spinach, kale, broccoli)
- Fruits (antioxidants, can also help with milk supply)
- Bone broth or really any soup (perfect if you aren’t having much of an appetite, also help with hydration)
- Avocado
- Nuts (almonds, pumpkin seeds)
- Lentils
- Whole grains
Truly, life is life and sometimes whatever is the most convenient is just what works the best. So if it is a Tuesday night, you had the longest day of your life- don’t stress about dinner. Unless you are totally in the mood for cooking, get your takeout, if that is what is easiest in the moment. But when you do have the time and energy, try adding these foods to your meals.
I have a blog post all about postnatal vitamins that are extremely beneficial to the breastfeeding mom. Click here for that post!
environmental needs
Okay so you had your baby and suddenly everyone is your best friend. All of a sudden, your 3rd cousin once removed wants to come over and see your baby. DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT feel bad to saying no to your “cousin” Shelly. Cousin Shelly will get over it. And if she throws a fit, then she really must not care about your wants and needs, and I am also assuming she has never had kids herself.
When I gave birth to Owen, I literally had to keep my phone in the other room. DAILY I would get message after message from people wanting to meet Owen. It was so overwhelming and really triggering to my anxiety. Like I just gave birth, my tits are out constantly, and I am bleeding everywhere. I also had Owen in December, aka RSV & flu season- which made me even more against having people over.
People don’t get it, and that is fine. They truly don’t have to understand. But what you need to know is that you have a baby now. You must be that baby’s voice and you must ALWAYS put your family first. These people are not experiencing what you are experiencing. If your baby gets sick, they are not the ones crying over their baby being intubated and admitted to the NICU. They are not the ones that have cried for the 5th time today because baby won’t latch. You are though, and that is exactly why from here on out YOU put YOU first.
Lastly, if they really want to meet your baby, they will be fine waiting a few months (or however long it takes for you to be ready). But a little FYI, most forget you even had a baby & forget you even exist at this point 😉
postpartum preparation
Feeling overwhelmed? Yeah, me too. I constantly am trying to be perfect. I take anything and everything to extremes. It does get better and easier. Your expectations do get lower as reality hits you. Honestly, with the business of it all- you really have no other choice.
The two key points I would love for you to get out of this all is to rest (the best you can) and put your wants first. I am not going to tell you to nap when the baby naps, but please if you are allowed 15 minutes to sit on the couch- then do so. And take care of yourself, this is truly the only way you can really be there for your family. Time and time again, I push myself. I try to accomplish EVERYTHING I had to do that day. But then guess what happens? I am on edge, stressed, and take it all out on my husband. Poopy diapers and a messy living room seem like the end of the world.
It doesn’t have to be this way. But remember, you will have these days. And that is okay too. Take this time to really figure out yourself. Figure out your wants and needs. Trial and error are a constant during motherhood.
postpartum checklist
I have created a postpartum checklist, just for you! It contains both the early postpartum essentials and everything talked about in this post. Click here for the free, printable postpartum checklist pdf.
The fourth trimester is heavy. You have a brand new identity, constantly are missing your old life, trying to live in the moment, and be grateful all at the same time. Take it easy and remember you are not ever alone. Find your support people and lean on them during this time. xxx